After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
