how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
