i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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