i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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