can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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