Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
