I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
