Umm I'm too high to move.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
