I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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