I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize