Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
