4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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