Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
