Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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