Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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