So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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