Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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