i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
