her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
