He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Dick very happy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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