It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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