my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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