So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
