How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just threw up on my dentist
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
