how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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