I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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