I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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