omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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