Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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