Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
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when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
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I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
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