There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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