oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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