I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i believe in u and ur pee
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