At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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