Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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