I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
