If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just want nice things and good sex
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize