you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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