Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
