I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
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I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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