I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
