yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize