Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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