his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
