I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I FOUND THE LEGS
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
