Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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