I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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