just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
