No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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