i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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