can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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