you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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