I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
