he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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