I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I still have a little drunk in my system
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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