3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's