Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.