Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You ate ashes out of my bong