we're blogging at a bar
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dating After Heartbreak
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.