OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize