She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
