i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
