i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize