doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
