it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
where are my eyebrows?
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