she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
