Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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