I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
